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October 26, 2012

Going Public, In Public

Occupy-wall-streetFile to go public and the world beats a path to your door. This can actually be a bad thing when you're just at a loss for words. Like us.

So, in the spirit of complete transparency, below is our Top 11 list of IPO questions we've found among the most amusing (along with our answers) 


Q. Are you now or have you ever been public?
A. No comment.

Q. Once you go public will you buy Cisco?
A. Really? No comment.

Q. Are you going public like Facebook?
A. No comment.

Q. Are you floating high or low?
A. No comment.

Q. Will you put the dog to sleep after going public?
A. We don't comment on rumor or speculative conjecture.

Q. Has the SEC approached you to provide them Smarter Wi-Fi?
A. No comment.

Q. Are you going to stay private after going public?
A. No comment.

Q. If you're selling and someone is buying, then who are they?
A. No comment.

Q. Have you had the opportunity to meet Goldman or Sachs or Morgan or Stanley?
A. No comment.

Q. Will you be selling any assets and reducing capital expenditures  to increase leverage in order to eliminate depreciation charges and improve EBITDA?
A. Can you repeat the question?

Q. Will you be entering the public equity marketplace with protection?
A. Well,..um, nevermind.  No comment.

Q. If you weren't in a safe harbor, could you make some forward-looking statements?
A. Huh?

Q. If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?
A. Great question. No comment.





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